I have been fortunate to associate with some very inspiring and righteous women. They are mothers delighting in raising up children to the Lord. I love being around these mamas and their families, they radiate and make the world a beautiful, inspiring place to be in. Even though feelings toward these women are full of love and admiration, feelings toward myself became negative, I was comparing myself and all my weaknesses to them.
I had a conversation with my Dad telling him about these amazing women and then began telling him how disappointed I was with myself and the way I was doing things as a mother and wife, and my duties to God. I felt I hadn’t been as wise with the time that had been allotted to me and how I regretted that I was not further along on my journey in becoming like Christ. My Dad lovingly encouraged me to remember that God was not comparing, he could see us all individually with all the different blessings and challenges we’d been given in this life, tailored specifically to refine our own spiritual weaknesses. He reminded me of the different challenges I had overcome and ones I continued to work on. He suggested that instead of comparing myself to these amazing women, focus instead on who I had once been to who I am now. With that perspective, I could see, that although I am not exactly where I want to be yet, I have definitely made some progress, and that I am moving in the right direction. I started to feel more positive toward myself and began to ponder over these things.
The conversation made me contemplate my own children. I have one child with a disability. In no way do I compare him with or feel any disappointment because he is delayed and not at the same level as my other children. I do have a tendency to have even greater joy when he reaches milestones that for other children come easily. His disability (or trial) and subsequent delays, does not make me love him or see him any less than my other children. I do not expect that he will have the same experience and rapid progress, but I delight and have so much joy in every accomplishment he makes on his personal journey of progression. I compare him to no one but himself.
It would be so upsetting to me if my other children compared themselves to this son, and thought they were better or that I was more pleased with them than him because they were further down the track on progression and had accomplished more. It would equally sadden me if my disabled son berated himself because he wasn’t matching the accomplishments of my other children, and compared his progress to theirs.
God feels the same, it would be very displeasing to him if we were to compare ourselves to others and proudly think we are doing better, we don’t know the challenges they’ve been given and are working on overcoming. Along the same vein, God also does not want us berating ourselves and comparing our lives with those we perceive to be doing better than us. Comparing does not invite the spirit, it’s satan’s tool to demoralize us, make us lose the spirit and faith in ourselves to overcome. God’s way is to encourage, forgive and love us into continually pressing forward. We are all on individual spiritual plans, with different work to do, some more public some more humble, some more rigorous some more simple. To God it doesn’t matter, he cares only of where we end up. Did we change on the journey, did we become like him, did we learn to love others as much ourselves? If we did, it doesn’t matter who got there first or who got there later, it only matters that we get there and we bring as many souls with us as we can.
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