I am not the best at being perfectly consistent about writing. I often do not know what to write and so it is easy to put it off to the end of my study hour and then it’s too easy to just continue reading until my time is gone and I don’t get around to the writing part. I’m trying to be better. I pulled out my notebook this morning as the typical “what to write” thoughts went through my head. I scanned the column of writing questions from Karmel’s mentoring table and my eyes settled on “Just listen, no questions!” “Ok,” I thought, and I started to write.
This is what I wrote:
“I still feel like I have trouble discerning true inspirations/revelations that are to be acted on immediately versus those that are just good ideas but don’t necessarily matter that much if I do them or not. I can easily brainstorm a long list of “good” things to do that would quickly overwhelm the amount of time and strength I feel I have. Focusing in on the ones that truly matter – how to do that? I just feel like I don’t get those that often – the ones that are so strong and “inspirational” that I KNOW they are not my own. Do I really not have them that often? Am I to just go about doing good of my own free will and then once in a while something urgent and big will come? Right now I feel that is how it is – that I am not to be instructed in all things. Maybe some of my “good ideas” really are inspiration but feel less so because they don’t have a feeling of urgency? Maybe they are a gentle guide and a nudge in a certain direction that will set me up to better fulfill my purposes? Is my life to be a series of gentle nudges, seemingly insignificant course adjustments, that overall, constitute my whole life’s mission and purpose? Am I ever to do something really big? Is a life lived “small” and less noticeable as powerful as going big? What influence can I have in the small stuff? Do I really make a difference that is essential and needed? Would the world really be different if I wasn’t here doing what I am doing at this time in history?”
I paused for a moment. I guess maybe I did end up asking questions, but that is what came to my mind today as I picked up my pen to write. And then a phrase popped into my mind. It was a phrase given in answer to an inquiring passerby, spoken first by a small boy as he confidently threw a starfish back into the ocean: “It made a difference to that one.”
I may not travel the world, cure diseases or speak to massive crowds. I may not be recognized for my fame and fortune or hold an impressive leadership position, but the “one” that I am, can and will make a difference to another “one.” And to that person, that small thing will. be. big. That is how the Lord works – one by one. And by the small and simple, great things are brought to pass.