The Impact of Internet Pornography and Sexually Addictive Behavior on Married Women

I remember in 2009, as a Relief Society President, the Bishop asked me to prepare a 5th Sunday lesson on pornography… specifically, to prepare the hearts of the wives to receive the confessions of their husbands and be willing to help them because the following Sunday, the Stake President was going to be talking to the men in Priesthood session and calling upon them to confess to their wives if they had been using pornography.  What I studied and learned and presented back then was kid stuff compared to what I learned today.  We have got to stay on top of our education and on top of current trends in this sin-sick world that we live in mamas.

Here are my notes from a presentation given by Jill Manning at the World Congress of Families IX 2015 SLC:

The discovery of a husband’s pornography shatters the world of a woman.  Learning that she is one of many rather than an exclusive life partner.  Especially when the many are airbrushed phantom non-realities.  It is not uncommon for women to say, I am not sure who he really is.  I’ve been blind sided and duped.  May are experiencing this in their primary relationship.  Males are increasingly desensitized to what they are viewing.  Most viewing doesn’t fall into the category of addiction.  It doesn’t have to be addiction to cause grave harm.

It takes less than 5 hours of viewing to begin changing attitudes and beliefs.  The continuum of pornography’s impact is between minimal and severe harm.  It is important to acknowledge that this is one of the fastest growing areas of addiction, we know that sex addiction has the 3rd highest number of negative consequences behind drugs, alcohol and smoking.

The majority of sex addicts seeking treatment are married heterosexual men. Millions of women and mothers are impacted worldwide.  Married women are unique and distinct in that they are more adversely effected by their husbands mistrust and use of pornography.  This is irregardless of religious background.  It is rarely an isolated pursuit.  It is frequently associated with compulsive mastubation, mood disorders, misogyny, prostitution, 3x more likely to have an affair, diminished spiritually, job loss, divorce, prostitution. 84-87 % of users keep it secret and it is only made public when they are “caught”.

Women experience extreme mood changes, diminished spiritually, they can become hyper vigilant as they seek out the full truth of what is happening, increased risk for separation and divorce, fears for her children, increased risk for STDs, abrupt changes in her own behavior,  Many women learn of their husband’s betrayal after she is diagnosed with an STD.

Common effects experiences by married women:

  • Post-traumatic Stress disorder
  • Secondary trauma
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Isolation
  • Domestic violence and abuse

To add insult to injury, too often the woman is blamed by society or commentary that she is somehow to blame for being uninteresting, too focused on the children, or has let herself go.

  1. Pornography consumption is incongruent with what we know about health, stable marriages, and is a genuine threat to the function and safety of the marital bond.
  2. Pornography use is widespread and sexually addictive behavior is on the rise globally.
  3. Married women are especially and profoundly impacted by the discovery of pornography consumption or sexually addictive behavior in their primary relationship.

Please watch this documentary for more information:

PornPandemic.org



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